“We can’t do this anymore,” I said as his tongue found the nape of my neck.
“Do what?” he responded, moving his hand down my body.
“This,” I said back unable to breathe.
Instead of responding with words, his teeth grazed my neck and his hand found its way inside my jeans. I let out a soft moan when his cold fingers massaged my clit, losing my train of though. It was the same thing every time. I knew I shouldn’t see him anymore; I knew we would never be anything more. He would just look at me with those big blue eyes and smile in a way that only he could and I would melt all over again.
He knew exactly where to touch to make me scream and he did it time and time again. The next thing I knew, my clothes were strewn over my bedroom floor and he was on top of me. He sucked on my neck until my mind started to go numb; his hands caressed my breasts. Then he kissed his way down until his tongue found my nipples and his teeth followed. He bit one and squeezed the other, occasionally switching…his touch was dizzying. As I moaned, he kissed down my stomach, his tongue touching the most important spots. His tongue drew circles on my clit as he drove his fingers into me. I let out a scream as his finger touched my g-spot, his mouth not leaving my throbbing clit. My entire body started shaking and I couldn’t anything back.
Just as my orgasm subsided, I felt him thrust his entire length inside of me. He pounded in and out; he bit my neck, first gently then with more vigor. As he began to fuck me harder and faster, his mouth covered mine, his tongue working its way into my mouth. The entire world disappeared as the extreme pleasure took over. Every orgasm with him was better than the last; I was addicted to everything about him. I felt him come inside of me; he pulled out and I started to come off of my high. By the time I looked up again, he was already out the door.
---
“Liz, why do you keep doing this?” my best friend, Rachel said to me when I met her for coffee a few hours after he left.
“I don’t know, Rach, he’s just so…” I started, unable to find a word to describe the way I feel when he’s there.
“And every fucking time he leaves as soon as he comes.”
“That’s the arrangement we have. He’s a professional hockey player; he’s not capable of human emotions.”
“That doesn’t mean that you’re the same way.”
“I can be.”
“You’re falling in love with him.”
“No, I’m not. Kris Versteeg is just an amazing fuck…nothing else.”
“Since when did you talk like that, Liz? Tell me…I’ve never heard you refer to anyone that way.”
“It’s the only way to describe it.”
“If I believed you, then I would tell you that there is nothing wrong with this, but I’ve seen you watch him on TV.”
“I’m just thinking of what could happen after.”
“During away games?”
“He comes home eventually.”
“Does he ever text you anything other than telling you he’s coming over?”
“No.”
“Do you want him to?”
“No,” I answered probably too quickly. I wanted to believe that there were no emotions involved; I wanted to feel exactly how I was telling Rachel I felt. Unfortunately she knew me too well. Just then, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.
[b]GOT U 2 TIX 4 2NITE[/b]
I must have made a face when I read it because immediately Rachel said, “Kris?”
“Do you want to go to the Flyers game tonight?”
“Liz…”
“What?”
“Do you want to go to the game?”
“Why not? It’s a hockey game and it’s free.”
“Does he want to have sex with you after the game, or does he want to see you?”
“I don’t care…it’s free hockey.”
She wasn’t buying my story; of course I just wanted to see Kris. I had gone to home games before since our arrangement began and every time, I would stand by the glass during warm ups and he would shoot me a smirk that made me want to jump him right there. Whether or not our relationship was only sex, the sex was always amazing.
[b]SURE, WILL CALL?[/b]
[b]TIX IN UR NAME. C U AFTER :P[/b]
“I guess we should go home and change,” Rachel said with a sigh.
“Hey, maybe tonight you can meet Mike Richards.”
“That would involve Kris actually introducing you to his teammates.”
Her tone was sharp and it hurt; she always had to remind me of the arrangement that Kris and I had. She needed to make sure I knew that he did not have feelings for me. However, something made him invite me to games and something made him call me most nights when he was home. I didn’t care how many girls he fucked in how many cities…I only cared how I felt when he was with me. I knew that one day, he would stay the night; he would fall asleep next to me even if it was just so we could wake up and do it again.
---
It might have been just sex, but I still owned an authentic game worn Flyers jersey that had “VERSTEEG” written across the back. No one else had to know it was game worn or that it smelled like him. No one else in the Wells Fargo Center knew that he fucked me senseless while I adorned his name on my back. And not even Rachel knew that I would sometimes fall asleep with that jersey in my arms, pretending that he was next to me.
Rachel snapped me out of my day dream as we walked up to the will call window to pick up the tickets. The woman there asked for my ID and then handed me tickets and all-access passes so that we could get to the locker room after the game. I had received the passes before, usually accompanied by a text from Kris telling me to just meet him in the player’s parking garage. There was no way that I would go into the locker room…it didn’t work that way. The rest of the team didn’t know about me; then again, there was nothing for them to know.
“Liz, don’t.”
“What?”
“Read into the passes.”
“I’m not.”
“You are. Today is not going to be the day when Kris introduces you to his teammates as his girlfriend.”
“I’m not his girlfriend,” I said, truthfully.
“That doesn’t mean you don’t want to be.”
“I don’t.”
“You’re lying,” she started before changing the subject, “so where are our seats, tonight?”
I looked at the tickets, section 101, right behind the penalty boxes with a perfect view of the bench. Normally, he would get me tickets further back, but they were playing the Oilers that night, a Western Conference team that didn’t draw a big crowd. Typically, the building was packed with screaming, passionate fans, but that night it was pretty dead.
Every so often, I would look at my phone to see if there was a text from him. I wasn’t sure what I wanted it to say…maybe Rachel was right and I wanted him to tell me to come to the locker room after the game. He kept his car unlocked in the garage so that I could just wait for him there. We had our routines; if he was stressed out, he would call me to help him relax before his pregame nap, but for the most part, he would take out his post game frustrations on me. I never minded, he was very good at anything he did…and if he was angry, it was so much better. Even though I had always been a Flyers fan, there were times that I prayed for a loss or at least for Kris to do badly. It was selfish, but damn, did it feel good.
The Oilers came out flying, scoring two early goals; Lavvy looked like he was ready to pull Boosh from the net, but let him stay. It was a good idea since he was solid as the Flyers managed to score three goals to gain the lead. When only two minutes remained on the clock, the Oilers goalie headed to the bench for an extra skater; they managed to create a lot of pressure in the defensive zone. Kris got involved in a puck battle behind the net and very obviously wrapped his stick around Taylor Hall; unfortunately for him, the refs saw and he was headed to the penalty box. Only seconds into the power play, Hall tied the game. As Kris skated to the bench, I could see anger on the faces of both Kris and the coach. There was still over a minute left and the momentum belonged completely to the visitors. Just as they did in the first five minutes of the game, the Oilers managed to get past Boosh on two consecutive shots. That was it; the Flyers didn’t have a chance and lost the game. Kris’s penalty was a turning point…he would be blaming himself for losing the game.
Rachel never wanted to come back with me, so as always, we browsed the team store while waiting for Kris to text me the okay. I knew it was going to be longer than usual after the embarrassment of the two late goals and Rachel agreed to stick around. After close to 45 minutes, I finally felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket.
[b]COME 2 LOCKER ROOM[/b]
I looked at the text in disbelief. I had no idea what it meant; he had never invited me to go to the locker room before. Thoughts were running through my head as I just stared at my phone. Rachel just looked at me completely confused and I couldn’t get words out, so I just handed her my phone to read herself.
“Rach, come with me.”
“What if he’s there alone?”
“In the locker room?” I asked, puzzled at first, then I processed and realized what she meant, “Oh Rach, he wouldn’t…”
“He’s responsible for the loss,” she laughed.
“Just come with me…you know you’ve always wanted to see the Flyer’s locker room.”
“Fine,” she finally responded.
I knew exactly where the dressing room was; I had stood outside that door many times before heading to Kris’s car. I had always wanted to go inside, but was afraid to. I never thought what the guys would think of me…or of my thing with Kris. They probably all would just think that I was an easy puck bunny. Kris and I had been sleeping together since just a few weeks into his stint with Philadelphia. We met in a bar one night and it just went from there. It was never going to be a relationship and I had never expected to fall for him.
We got closer to the door and the security guard asked to see my pass; I showed him the pass and said that I was a friend of Kris Versteeg. He let me inside and most of the guys were already in their suits, though Richards was walking around in just a towel. Most likely, he had been speaking to reporters and got into the shower later than everyone else. I looked over at Rachel and she was practically drooling, I laughed a little to myself before locking eyes with Kris.
He walked over to me and kissed my cheek gently before saying “hi.” That gentle brush of his lips on my cheek was probably the most intimate contact we had ever had. I felt a chill go down my spine and I realized that I didn’t want hot, angry sex with him that night. There was sadness in his eyes and I knew that anger would follow. I should have walked out and gone home right there.
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